Book in a Month: Day 10

Doubt is something I struggle with a lot, and not just in my writing. Doubting runs in my family. Every single person, my parents and my siblings, all struggle with massive amounts of doubt. We doubt different things about ourselves, but we all doubt something. For me, my doubt comes when I have to create something. Anything, be it a report, a story, an idea, a new method, I doubt it. I always have.

Doubt is something that every writer deals with. Will the story work? Will the characters be believable? Will people want to read what I write? These questions open the door for doubt, not because they are invalid questions, but because they are valid.

See that's the problem with doubt, worry, and questioning yourself. For me, it always has a basis in something valid. It's not wrong to double check your writing, your motivation, you choices. My problem is that I have a hard time getting out of the double-checking stage. Those creeping doubts cling to me, holding me back from actually letting myself achieve something.

What does this have to do with BIAM? Kind of everything. Doubt and fear is what's kept me from writing or rewriting or finishing a draft. I second guess myself right out of writing. So doing the BIAM has been incredibly helpful in that it doesn't let me stay in that place. I can doubt, but I have to keep writing. Question what I'm doing, but keep writing through those questions. Instead of letting myself get away with a someday goal, I have a concrete goal, 30 days. And that means there's no time for wallowing in self-doubt.

Sure I might not totally like the result. But I'll have finished the draft, and that will give me that much more strength against that doubt. And next time, maybe I won't have as many doubts.

Now for the numbers:

Pages: 8

Total Pages thus Far: 83

Words: 2,761

Total Words thus Far: 26,656

Book in a Month: Day 9

Normally I would publish this later in the day, since I usually work late on Tuesdays. But I wasn't feeling well today, so I didn't go into work today. Thus, an earlier posting from me today.

I completed another eight pages today. And as usual, middles are hard. Starting is easy. I've started a bunch of stories. It getting through the middle that's the hardest part. Which, I guess, isn't a surprise.

Anyway, I was thinking about what I wanted to write in this post today, and I couldn't really decide. I thought about writing about my doubts as a writer (I have plenty of those), or maybe writing a character introduction. Another idea was to write about how reading inspires me. But none of them seemed really all that interesting to me today. Maybe I'll write about one of those tomorrow.

For now, I will simply publish my numbers for the day.

Pages: 8

Total Pages thus Far: 75

Words: 2,394

Total Words thus Far: 23,895

Book in a Month: Day 8

I'm not sure what to write today. I've moved into the second week of the BIAM program. That means technically I'm supposed to be in Act II of my story. I think I am, but I've never been good at the whole three act structure. I could probably identify it in other books, but in my own stuff, not sure I can.

Of course, I've always been terrible at self evaluation.

Oh well. I'll think of something better to write tomorrow. For now, here are the numbers.

Pages: 8.5

Total Pages thus Far: 68

Words: 2,719

Total Words thus Far: 21,505

Book in a Month: Day 7

Just the numbers for today. I don't have anything witty or interesting to say today. So here they are.

Pages: 8.1

Total Pages thus Far: 60

Words: 2,482

Total Words thus Far: 18,786

Book in a Month: Day 6

It was harder to write today than it has been the past few days. I think mostly because it's Saturday and I take a break from everything work/writing related on the weekends. But I made myself write, though I split up the time. I wrote some before I went to the Humane Society (I volunteer there on Saturdays. I walk dogs. :) and the rest after I got home.

Today I got to write my first magic lesson scene. Which I wasn't planning on writing, but I really liked it. I am officially getting to the middle of the book, and that is the hardest part. It's the least concrete. I'm struggling with what exactly I want to keep from the previous draft, while still making it interesting. I think I've figured it out, but I'm not totally sure. I'll let you know.

Anyway, I wrote about magic today. My character is having to learn to use the magic she's been born into, and it's not going to be easy. I'm actually excited about this because I've change my magic system a bit from the original idea. I hope it turns out well, but I'm pretty sure it will.

Now for the numbers:

Pages: 8.1

Total Pages thus Far: 52

Words: 2,672

Total Words thus Far: 16.305

Book in a Month: Day 5

This is just a quick update to publish my numbers from today. I was going to write up an actual entry today, but got distracted by life.

So here are the numbers:

Pages: 8

Total Pages thus Far: 44

Words: 2,127

Total Words thus Far: 13,633

Book in a Month: Day 4

I hate conflict. It's a fact. If there's conflict, I run screaming the other way. Well okay, I actually slink silently the other way in hopes of avoiding the conflict, but you get the idea. This is a bad thing for a writer.

Conflict is the staple of a story. Without conflict, there is no story. So how do I, as an avid flee-er of conflict, put it into my stories? Good question. It's one I'm still figuring out actually.

When I was younger and was just writing because I loved making stories up, I didn't really get that I needed conflict. Or, rather, I didn't get that I needed lots of conflict. I didn't understand that the big conflict wasn't enough, that everything in the story need to conflict with the protagonist. Everything has to go against her and make it harder for her to get to her goal. Or almost everything.

I thought it was enough to just have the journey be the conflict. And to be honest, I was scared of hurting my protagonists. I was worried that if it was too hard, they wouldn't actually make it too the end.

But as I've gotten older, and read more great books, I've realized that there must be more conflict or there's no point in getting to the end. Things have to be hard, or my protagonists aren't going to need to get to the end to get the resolution. Without the hardship, the hurt, the pain in all its forms, the resolution isn't a resolution. And a story isn't a story. Or it isn't a good one.

That's what I've been learning with this rewrite. So, I'm trying to be more conflicted. It's not easy, but the more I try, the more I realize that it's actually kind of fun to throw things at my protagonist. She's strong. She can handle it. Or, if she can't she'll learn from her scars.

Anyway, today I wrote eight more chapters. Here are the numbers:

Pages: 8

Total Pages thus Far: 34

Words: 2,479

Total Words thus Far: 10,987