Lack of Direction

Time for a little transparency from me. Something I'm not always that great at, but here goes nothing. I have no idea what this blog is about. I'm not sure I ever really have.

I started this blog years ago and have let it lapse on more than one occasion. I usually come back to it, and try to pick up where I left off. I try to find something to write about with varying degrees of success. But I've never really had a direction or theme or goal with this blog other than to blog. Cause as a writer, you're supposed to blog. So I wanted to do that.

The problem with doing something just because it's what you're supposed to do is that you quickly learn that there's not a lot else there. I rarely have anything to say, because I have no idea what I want to say. What do you talk about when you feel like you have nothing of value to say?

Cause that's how I feel most of the time. I'm not published, and haven't really taken any steps towards getting published, despite all my talk of doing so. I don't have kids or an interesting job that gives me lots of stories to relate. I mean, who really wants to hear about how I spent all day reading reviews about bathroom scales? Yeah, not me either. I've thought about reviewing things (TV, books, etc) but I don't feel qualified to do that. Who really wants to hear my opinions about those things? I mean, I barely remember anything about themes from my lit classes in college, so who am I to comment on that type of thing in what I read and watch?

Thinking all of these things leaves me feeling as if I have nothing of value to write about. I've already cycled through all my thoughts and processes on plot and character creation. What else can I say?

All this is to say that I'm feeling a little at a loss with this blog right now. I don't want to give up on it, but I honestly have no idea what to do with it. If it's the thing that's supposed to allow readers to peak into my mind, what do I want them to see when they do? Do I have any thoughts worth putting out there? I'm not sure. Honestly, I never feel like my thoughts are worth putting out there. It's why I so aggressively filter myself in real life. My voice isn't really worth anything, so there's no point in talking up.

Which I know is stupid, and surely I can find something to say, even if it's just for myself, but it's how I feel most of the time. There are so many people out there that are so much smarter than me that my thoughts seem pointless most of the time.

But I don't want to give up. I want to build a successful blog. Not just because I'm supposed to, but also because I want to find my voice. It's just right now, I don't know what this blog should be about.

So I'm gonna take some time and think about it. And I'll probably try a few things (like reviewing a show) and see if anything seems to stick. We'll see what happens.

But for now, I'm going silent while I do something thinking. I should be back in a a week or two.

Until then.

Writing Update

Well this will be short, since I got absolutely no writing done last week. Things have been crazy at work and we had some events going on at church so my writing time was non-existent last week.

I'm hoping to remedy that this week, but I might not get to given work still be crazy. We hired two (three?) new people this week and I have to train at one of them. As such, craziness.

On a side note, as a way to try to connect with more writers and improve my writing in general, I'm thinking about joining a local writer's guild. I'll let you know how that goes.

Friday I'll return with more 30 Things.

Until then.

2014: My Year in Writing

So the end of 2014 passed without much writing going on. Things got busy at work, I got lazy, and my hands kept being problematic. I fought severe pain off and on for pretty much all of December. As such, didn't really get much writing done.

That was also the reason for the lack of posts, along with just being crazy busy all the time with work and family and friends.

I guess I should review what I did accomplish writing-wise in 2014 though, cause I got a decent amount done.

First, I finished the crappy second draft of First Sight. Which is actually a big deal considering I really hated that thing when I finished the first draft. I'm still not totally in love with it, but I think there is a gem of a story buried in there somewhere and I'd really like to find it some day. There's still a lot of detritus to get through before that happens, but the bones are pretty good, so I have hope for it in the future.

The second half of the year saw me working to get Alana in better shape with a fifth draft. I am only about half done with that, but that's still pretty good considering I completely rewrote the beginning at least twice and had to rewrite several other large chunks. I feel like it's going well and have hope that it will be a decent novel soon.

So what are my plans for 2015? Well, I always hesitate to put those into writing. I suppose because so often I allow things to get in the way and never quite meet my goals. But maybe I should break that bad habit and actually start writing down goals and seeing if people will keep me accountable for them. Maybe then I'll actually get published. So I guess I'll try that now. (Though I don't currently have any one to hold me accountable. A girl can dream).

So goals. Well, first is to finish the fifth draft of Alana. I'd also love to get a sixth fully polished draft done at some point. Additionally, I'd like to get a third draft of First Sight done. And I'd also like to grow this blog and get a few more followers. Maybe even find a permanent crit partner who I can exchange drafts or weekly writing amounts with.

That's my wish list at least. I'll let you know how it goes.

Also, I'm going to make some changes to the blog. Namely I don't think I'll be doing Listy Wednesdays anymore. I'll think of something to fill Wednesdays, but for now I'll just post on Mondays and Fridays.

Until then.

Writing Progress

Well, I actually got some writing done last week. Not a ton, but I at least finished another chapter of Alana. That's good. Now I only have about two thirds of the book left.

Of course, coming up, I'm probably going to have to completely rewrite one of the next chapters, but that's okay. I think the rewrite will improve the chapter.

This week is Thanksgiving, so I have a shorter work week. I'll still get my other posts done, though, so don't worry.

Wednesday will be a special list in honor of the holiday. Friday, I'll continue 30 Things.

Until then.

Writing Update

This is going to be short, since I haven't gotten much writing done in the past week.

The reason is because I got stuck when trying to calculate the difference in time passing between my two worlds. I wasn't sure I was calculating it correctly so I had to have a friend help me develop a formula so I could ensure consistency and help me figure out the timing for things that happened prior to the beginning of my book.

This actually turned out to be important because it will massively impact the play of events in the upcoming books. There's a few things that rely heavily on Alan not knowing about magic before she gets to Mascar, so figuring out how much time would need to pass for that to be realistic is important. And since that also affects how much time has passed in Mascar and their history, it required some thinking on my part.

Much thanks to my friend who came up with the formula. It's very helpful and surprisingly simple. Having friends who are better at math than I am is very beneficial.

Okay, this was longer than I expected. On Wednesday, I think I'll have a list for you and on Friday more 30 things.

Until then.

Writing Update

So last weeks plans to write got derailed a bit because of crazy work days. Things were just nuts all week last week. As such, I didn't really get a chance to write anything significant. I did do a little work on Alana, but crazy work combined with being mired in doing calculations to figure out time passage rates in two different worlds left me having accomplished very little of substance. I'm hoping to fix that this week, but so far, it's been crazy already.

As for my lists, due to last weeks craziness, I didn't get a chance to come up with new list topics. So no list again this week. Maybe next week.

I will post a question for 30 Things on Friday though.

Until then.

Writing Update

Sorry it's been a bit since I wrote an entry. I've had a bit of a crazy few weeks. This past week was particularly crazy.

Last weekend I got sick and was still feeling unwell by Monday. Then I had a root canal on Wednesday and wound up getting sick again on Friday and staying sick all weekend. And that was just last week. The prior week was also a bit hectic.

Needless to say, I haven't really felt up to writing much. As such, I haven't gotten much more done on Alana. I'm gonna try to get back to it this week, but I can't promise anything.

As for my lists, I'm running out of things to list, and being sick, I haven't really had the time (or inclination) to come up with new ideas. I'll try to spend some time on that this week so that next week I'll have some ready to go.

Friday I plan to post the next question in 30 Things, so that's fun.

Until then.

Writing Update

This is going to be short since I don't have much of an update and I have to get a writing assignment done for this week.

I still haven't gotten a chance to write much more on Alana since my hands have been bothering me still. I'm working on making that less of a problem, but work has been crazy so I haven't succeeded so well yet.

Only one post this week, since my hands are bothering me and I need to get this writing assignment for my workshop done. Should be back to normal next week.

Until then.

Writing Update

I actually don't have much of an update this week. The past two weeks I've been having major pain in my arm, so I didn't get any writing done. Which is annoying. Hopefully this week my arm will be better and I'll get more writing done though.

I've sort of run out of list ideas for Wednesdays at this point, but I hope to have a few more starting next week. Instead, I'll just post 30 thing on Friday.

Until then.

Writing Progress

I don't' really have much to say about my writing this week. I've been working pretty steadily on Alana and have made it to the fifth chapter, so that's good. My online writing workshop is going well too, but since it's only the second week, I don't have much to say other than the instructor liked my first assignment.

So that's pretty much it for now. I'm actually going to take a break on posts for the rest of the week since I'm sort of out of ideas for lists at the moment and my hands have been bothering me a lot. I'll be back next week.

Until then.

Writing Progress

I've been working on the next draft of Alana some more. I've managed to get to the middle of chapter three.

This draft is harder because I'm not just flat out writing stuff. Instead, I'm reading through my previous draft and reworking stuff that needs to be redone. I'm really focusing on descriptions and trying to be more purposeful in them. I'm trying to make them feel more real and less detached. Not an easy task, but I like to think I'm having some success with it.

In other news, I started taking an online writing workshop offered through Writer's Digest University. It covers the basics of fiction writing, so I probably know most of what's going to be covered, but I wanted to take it cause I've not taken many creative writing classes in my life. I figure it might be good to do one on the basics and see what happens. Hopefully it'll be a good experience. And who knows, I might meet some other writers. If it goes well, I might try to take another one next year.

This first week is about description, so I have to turn in a 250 description by Wednesday. Should be fun.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Wednesday, I'll post a list of something. Not sure what yet.

Until then.

Writing Update: Success

Sorry for the long delay in posts. We had a holiday and then I got sick, so I didn't have time to get all my posts written like I normally do. But I'm back now, so yea!

I bet you're wondering how First Sight is going. Well, good news: I finished the second draft just before Labor Day! The new draft comes in at just over 50k words, which is great since that was part of my goal with this draft. I'm still not super thrilled with the story as a whole, but I think I made real progress on improving it, so that's good.

Since I finished that draft, I've decided to get back to work on Alana. I started working on revising it into a fifth draft. This time, my focus is on really upping the description and wording so it feels more vibrant and alive. I've been rereading a particular series of books and I've found that it's really helped me think about describing things in new ways. Because of this, I feel like I'm doing a lot better at making my description pop. At least I hope so.

More exciting writing news. I have decided that I'm going to take an online writing workshop to help me really hone my novel writing. I only took two creative writing classes in college and neither of them really focused on novels, so I'm going to do that now. I figure it can just help improve my writing. And that's something I really want to do. So I'm gonna get signed up for those shortly.

All right, that's all I've got for today. On Wednesday I'll post some kind of list. Not sure what it'll be about yet.

Until then.

Writing Update: So Close to Done

I got a decent amount of writing done last week, so I'm now at a little over 47k words. I also have about four or five scenes left to rewrite in the draft. That means, I'll hopefully be over 50K by the time I'm done. Which is awesome, since the first draft was so short. Still, 50K is pretty short for a fantasy novel. Although, I already know I'm going to do at least one more draft of this novel, since I think there are some scenes I need to add to the beginning and I need to adjust some things in the middle to make them make more sense.

One good thing about this draft is that it helped me discover the theme of this novel. I know theme is a big thing in novels, but I've found that the couple of time I've tried to write with a particular theme in mind, it hasn't quite worked out right. First Sight actually started out with a sort of theme about truth and lies and how they interact. But as I was working on this draft, I realized that that theme wasn't really working. Maybe because I didn't know what I was trying to say about it, or maybe because it was too nebulous. Or maybe something else all together.

In the end, I realized about 3/4 of the way through this draft that the theme of First Sight is actually trust. Trust in oneself, trust in others. Which is an interesting thing to explore when one of your characters always knows when someone's lying. I found myself thinking about how something like that might affect a person's ability to trust others, particularly if they suddenly found that they couldn't use their lie-detecting on someone they were supposed to work closely with.

Knowing this makes me need to rethink a lot of my two MC's interactions. Which is one of the reasons I know First Sight will be getting at least one more draft.

Okay, that's all I've got today. Come back Wednesday for Listy Wednesday.

Until then.

Monday Writing Progress Report

Last week I had a bit of a hiccup in the middle of the week with my writing. My wrists started hurting again, so I didn't get a ton written. I'm up to a little over 45K words now, so only about 2K words more than last week.

This is particularly maddening since I'm within about seven scenes of being finished with this rewrite of the story. I'm hoping this week will be a little better with my hands, since it's not raining too much and I've been exercising them (my hands that is). I just find this very frustrating. Being limited by how much pain I have is so annoying. There are times when I wish I could just sit and type for hours, but I can't because my hands hurt too much. I utterly hate having fibromyalgia at times like this.

I know I randomly mention when my writing is affected by my health, but I rarely talk about my feelings about my health. That's probably because most of the time, not being able to physically do things doesn't really bother me that much. I've adjusted and learned how to work within my physical limits. It only ever really gets to me when I weeks like last week, where doing anything hurts and nothing helps make the pain go away. It's at those times that I'm reminded how much I hate how useless this condition makes me feel.

Okay, enough ranting about things I can't change. I'm looking forward to finishing this draft in the next week or so.

Until then.

Writing Progress

Last week I didn't get as much written as I would have liked. I've been fighting migraines, pain in my hands, and just generally not feeling well. Still I got a little bit done. I'm now up to about 43K words.

I'm still having trouble with the ending. I've been considering ways to change it and make it better, but I still am not sure. The part I'm having the most trouble with is where they actually confront the antagonist. It just doesn't feel right. Most of the rest of the ending feels okay, but that particular part just rings false to me for some reason. I'll definitely have to work on it and let you know what happens.

I'm gonna end here because honestly I don't have a lot else to talk about with First Sight at the moment.

So come back on Wednesday for a fun new list.

Until then.

Character Ideas Part IV: Antagonists

I realized that I never finished this series, so here's the last entry in my Character Ideas series of posts. I've already talked about where I get the ideas for protagonists, side characters, and love interests. Now it's time for the antagonists.

Typically my antagonists come from the needs of the story. Most of the time when I'm coming up with the story, the antagonist is one of the last big pieces I work on before writing. I've never had an idea that starts with the antagonist, but that could happen in the future.

I don't want to tell you too many specifics about the antagonists in my two novels because that might give too much away. Instead, I'll just talk in generalities. Both needed specific qualities to cause the plot events for both stories. The mean specific skills and back stories to make their motivations make sense. I actually probably spent more time on their motivations than my main characters. This could be because I have a tendency to write stories where the MCs get thrown into situations, whereas the antagonists are causing the issue so they need to have a specific plan and course of action and the motivations to make that plan take place. So I know exactly why both my bad guys did what they did, what drove them too it and why they didn't choose a nicer path.

I guess you could say that the plot is really what gives me the ideas for my antagonists. Again, this might not always be the case, but at the moment, it's what I have.

Next Firday, I'm going to be starting a new series, but it's not going to be about writing topics. I've decided that since this blog is called Writing through Life, I should probably talk a little about my life. So next week, I'll start doing just that.

Until then.

I'm Back

I was sick last week, so I didn't get blogs done. I'm still not feeling great, but I figured I need to try to do these even if I didn't feel well. So here I am.

I started working on First Sight again last week. I've been trying to get two scenes done a day, since I really want to get this draft done. I'm not always successful, but I've been pretty good about it. My current word count is just over 40K. That's right at what the first draft was when completed, so I'm pretty happy about that. I've added quite a bit that I hope makes the story better.

Currently I'm working on the last third or so. It's officially my least favorite part of the story. I'm not sure why. Maybe I don't totally like the resolution, but something about the end feels off. Or maybe it feels too easy. I'm not sure. Before I finish redrafting, I might reread that section and see if I can figure out what's irking me about it so I can fix it. I don't want to just regurgitate a bad ending if I can fix it.

That being said, I really want to get First Sight done cause I want to get back to Alana. I think I know what needs to be done, so I want to get busy doing it. I've been rereading some really well written books that have really inspired me and that makes me want to work on Alana.

Okay, that's it for tonight. Wednesday I'll have a list for you. Friday will be the last post in my Character ideas series.

Until then.

An Update

For the past couple of weeks I was working off and on on the account of my trip to Guatemala back in June. It took a while because I started it as a personal journal, then turned it into a journal that I was going to post for public consumption. Because of this, after writing the thing, I had to go back and do a few revisions and edits. It's now been published on another blog dedicated specifically to it, so I'm back to working on First Sight.

I got a few scenes done last week, but since I haven't spent a full week working on it, I am waiting to resume my regular blog posting until I do. Sorry for the delay, but I'd like to have something to actually write about when I post my next blog.

I'm planning for that to be next Monday, so hopefully it will be. Until then, you can always head over to my Guatemala blog and check out my adventures there.

Character Ideas: Part III

I know I promised to post this last week, but as I mentioned Monday, I was having hand trouble. Still am, so this may be short.

Anyway, I'm sure you are all dying to know where I get the ideas for my male leads and non-MCs.

Most of my main male leads come to me as part of the idea process. Well, their personality does. They start out as a list of things that I feel like that character needs to be. In Mathan's case (that's the lead for Alana) he needed to be dark, mysterious, a bit older than her, and skilled in using the magic that Alana has to learn to use.

In Raelin's case, Keller needed to be a bit more hostile. He is kind of Raelin's opposite. That's pretty much all I knew other than he and Raelin didn't get along at first.

Other than that, I didn't have too much of a clear picture of who my male leads were. That didn't develop until I actually go into writing the stories. It was only then that I really got to know who they were as characters, more of what their personalities felt like.

As for my secondary characters, those ideas basically just come from what ever pops into my head when I need the character. Usually I think about what the character needs to do in relation to my main characters then go on from there. Either that or I think about what the character needs to accomplish. That's pretty much it. Everything else gets fleshed out as I write.

Next week, I'll conclude the series about character ideas by talking about where the ideas for my antagonists come from.

Drafting Update (Sort Of)

So I didn't really get much written last week. My hands were seriously bothering me. That, combined with the holiday last Monday and you can understand why I didn't post any blogs. But I'm back this week, though the blogs will probably be shorter.

In a couple weeks I may have some non writing related blogs to post. Next Wednesday I leave for a mission trip to Guatemala, so hopefully in a few weeks I'll have some stuff to talk about from that.

Come back Wednesday for my weekly list.