Time for a little transparency from me. Something I'm not always that great at, but here goes nothing. I have no idea what this blog is about. I'm not sure I ever really have.
I started this blog years ago and have let it lapse on more than one occasion. I usually come back to it, and try to pick up where I left off. I try to find something to write about with varying degrees of success. But I've never really had a direction or theme or goal with this blog other than to blog. Cause as a writer, you're supposed to blog. So I wanted to do that.
The problem with doing something just because it's what you're supposed to do is that you quickly learn that there's not a lot else there. I rarely have anything to say, because I have no idea what I want to say. What do you talk about when you feel like you have nothing of value to say?
Cause that's how I feel most of the time. I'm not published, and haven't really taken any steps towards getting published, despite all my talk of doing so. I don't have kids or an interesting job that gives me lots of stories to relate. I mean, who really wants to hear about how I spent all day reading reviews about bathroom scales? Yeah, not me either. I've thought about reviewing things (TV, books, etc) but I don't feel qualified to do that. Who really wants to hear my opinions about those things? I mean, I barely remember anything about themes from my lit classes in college, so who am I to comment on that type of thing in what I read and watch?
Thinking all of these things leaves me feeling as if I have nothing of value to write about. I've already cycled through all my thoughts and processes on plot and character creation. What else can I say?
All this is to say that I'm feeling a little at a loss with this blog right now. I don't want to give up on it, but I honestly have no idea what to do with it. If it's the thing that's supposed to allow readers to peak into my mind, what do I want them to see when they do? Do I have any thoughts worth putting out there? I'm not sure. Honestly, I never feel like my thoughts are worth putting out there. It's why I so aggressively filter myself in real life. My voice isn't really worth anything, so there's no point in talking up.
Which I know is stupid, and surely I can find something to say, even if it's just for myself, but it's how I feel most of the time. There are so many people out there that are so much smarter than me that my thoughts seem pointless most of the time.
But I don't want to give up. I want to build a successful blog. Not just because I'm supposed to, but also because I want to find my voice. It's just right now, I don't know what this blog should be about.
So I'm gonna take some time and think about it. And I'll probably try a few things (like reviewing a show) and see if anything seems to stick. We'll see what happens.
But for now, I'm going silent while I do something thinking. I should be back in a a week or two.
Until then.
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