Weddings and Freedom

So my younger brother got married this past weekend. Actually that's the reason I haven't posted anything since last Monday; I've been crazy busy helping him and the new wife get everything ready for the wedding. I kept up with my writing, mostly. I got a scene done every day except Saturday (thanks to wedding craziness) and Sunday (thanks to exhaustion due to wedding craziness). But I'm back on track now.

It's funny though, I got back online today and saw a post by Veronica Roth (Think Divergent, only one of the best books ever. If I had heroes, she'd probably be near the top of the list.) that made me think about this weekend in a strange way. She wrote about letting go and giving yourself room to mess up and just be free in writing. As I was thinking about her post and how perfectionism is one of my greatest weaknesses, I got to thinking about this weekend and how it was actually kind of fun and how that was possibly the weirdest thing ever.

See, I never think of weddings, or really any large gathering of bunches of people I don't know, as fun. I especially don't think of them as fun when I am part of the wedding party and have to stand in five-inch heels for an hour or walk across gravel to take five or six pictures or talk to strangers who may or may not be drunk or dance in public, or so many other things. To me, weddings and other large gatherings of people are just torturous punishments to be endured until I can finally get away and be by myself again.

But this wedding was different. Maybe it was because it was my brother's and I love him like crazy. I'm sure that was part of it, but looking back on the night, I realized part of the reason this wedding was as close to fun as I get at large gatherings was because I just let myself not care what happened or who was looking. I decided that I was going to do my best to have fun and make it a good night for my brother. And it turns out, it became a good night for me too.

So maybe I'll loosen up more in the future. I hope I do. I'm kind of sick of not having fun at parties. And I'm pretty sure it would help me be a better writer.